The most rewarding patients are the ones unaware of their sickness, but I see the sickness, and also see the power in them to defend their sickness instead of curing the sickness. How to use that force to fight the sickness instead of defending it.
I realize that I do not practice what I preach, eat healthy, exercise, sleep well but do not do it myself. When I reflected that I am unaware of my sickness and defend my sickness instead of curing it. I have to lay on the line to grow together with my patients.
It seems we have to struggle together to heal ourselves. One thing I have in common with many humans is that I am afraid to confront myself, easy to blame others than to do soul searching and do self-purification.
Thanks to my patients to give the courage to do so, so they see my walk, instead of my talk, which rarely works. They thank me to heal them, not realizing they healed me too. Like when a father disciplines a child, ending up suffering more, but knowing that father has to be a role model and both end up victorious.
That remind me of what Jesus said physician thy heal self.